Story
“Toni! Toni, for goodness sake where the hell is that girl.
I hear her. She wants to hire me out to other neighbours to clean, but I am tired. I do not like this work, all the time cleaning. My knees are red and my hands rough.
I will go to her when I am ready. I will say I was cleaning the landing because Mrs Ts dog soiled. The western woman who has moved into number six brought her little dog from her own home. I have never seen the little dog soil in the building. Mrs T looks nice, she smiles and says hello and I know I am real; my life is real not a bad dream. I will work for her and tell her I am not fed enough so she takes me on as her own maid. I heard Mrs. P. saying she would loan me to her tomorrow. I eat well but I do not get fat. I am always hungry.
I should be back in my village with my sister. My father said two girls are not needed at home only boys and one girl. A boy to work the field but a girl like me is too skinny, not strong enough. My mother cried and ran after the bus, but my father beat her with a stick. I sat curled in a corner and let the stones bump me against the sides. My sister waved from inside the doorway.
Toni, Toni!
I am here Mrs. In this bucket is dog poop.
Oh, that woman and her dirty, dirty dog.
Such a gossipy, mean woman, Mrs P. is. I wonder how she has a man to boss about. But when I think of Mr. Ps face, I wonder what kind of woman could wake up to it every morning.
*
She is half starved, look how thin she is, such a pretty little thing. I know shes hungry and she eats everything I offer her.
You cant get involved. You must accept the cultural difference, Meagan. Stephen is staring at me making sure he has my undivided attention. He has.
‘This is a first world country they have laws that govern exploitation.
‘And they have their ways of doing things. Im telling you Meagan, leave well enough alone. If you dont want Mrs Hwangs help, then dont have her maid here. We can get one from a service.
A fair days work for a fair days pay is civilised, Stephen, dont smirk.
Grow up, Meagan, youre not at uni now ‘up the workers’ and all that.’
Stephens laughing but I can see he intends another dig and Im right.
Youd still visit a dog track rather than enjoy a box at the races, wouldnt you Meagan?’
Stephen has buried his face in the newspaper again. The way he does when he considers the conversation is at its end. If rage had heat, my eyes would be scorching two holes in the newsprint. He’s a lawyer for goodness sake and this is a clear case of exploitation right under his nose, but it doesnt interest him. A young woman is brought to this island to work like a slave. It is preposterous, and I am going to do something about it. As usual, hes ignoring me as I make my move to the front door, so Ill have to bang it on the way out. I am taking the stairs two at a time down to the Hwang apartment. Mrs Hwang is supervising the sweeping of her landing. Ill get straight to the point.
I would like this maid fulltime. Will you give her to me, Mrs Hwang?
Certainly not. You are one of my customers. I have done you a favour giving you this girl so cheap and now you think you will make a bit on the side. Fooie,’ shes turned to pick browned leaves from her plant.
No, you misunderstand I need her just for me, not to lend out, no, no.
You treat them too well they will not work, you are so naive,’ she spits her words at me. Im standing at her front door shaking my head. Her eyebrows are raised, and her nose slightly elevated as if Ive passed wind. I must think fast but I am mute. Too late, the door is shutting in my face. Now I dont know whether the girl will be allowed to work for me at all. My heart is pounding at the injustice. I can feel my face burning hot like a poker, so I know I am beetroot red now as Mrs Fong appears to nod a good morning greeting. With each step I am having trouble holding back my tears and rage.
*
I like the Western woman. She gives me so much food. We eat together at her table. I am shocked to sit at the mistresss table. I saw her pull the chair and point that I should sit, but I crept to the corner and sat on the floor. This upset her, and she pulled a kitchen chair to the corner and put her hand out for me to hold so I could stand. Then she pushed on my shoulders, so I would sit on the chair. It was very uncomfortable. She started to thump her chest saying Meagan, Mee gan, Mee gan. I had no idea what she wanted from me. Then she said, ‘your name, and I understood, so I told her I was Lasoong and she said it right and smiled. Then I realised she was Mee gan so I called her Mrs. Mee gan and she rolled her eyes and smiled. We ate our food. She ate the same food as me.
Everyday it is like this, eating together on the chairs in her kitchen.
I am scrubbing the tiles in her bathroom with a brush, my skirt tucked up into my underwear, so my knees do not dirty my clothes. She comes to me with a mop that looks like a sponge. She pulls me up, takes the brush from me and demonstrates how I should push the long-handled sponge across the floor. I wish I could tell her she will be sorry to do this when the mould grows. The Chinese and the Westerners do not like mould in their bathrooms.
*
I want you to speak to the husband, Mr. Hwang, From the bathroom, I can see Stephen is taking off his tie and shirt, making for the bed to untie his shoes laces before he answers me. I am ready for dinner in a lovely red silk dress that fits like a glove and have bought new red shoes. Walking into the bedroom I touch my hair that I have wound into a French role. I feel very alluring.
My God, Meagan, you look gorgeous.’ Stephens mind is racing. Part of him would be thinking how impressive hell be with a wife dressed to kill and the other is Oh I so know this man, he comes towards me like he thinks I might rip my clothes off, and start to get ready all over again as if. I give him that ‘later’ look and push him away. Careful honey, youll smudge my makeup and Mr. Ng mightnt flirt with me all night and favour you in the office tomorrow. I spray Channel No. 5 down my cleavage and wink.
So, youll have a word to Mr. Hwang then? I ask again when he pinches my bum as we get into the taxi and he says he will have a word, man to man. I ask him to promise when we get home as he almost tears my dress from me and we make love. So now he .is obligated.
*
I am to go to the Western womans house everyday for three quarters of the day. This is very good as I only clean two houses. Mrs. Hwang is sending for another girl to do the other homes. I rise at five and clean Mrs Hwangs apartment, prepare the breakfast and their dinner then I go up to Mrs. Mee gan. I clean her house with the long-handled sponge and make the dinner. She is showing me how to prepare the meat. She says to me, It is steak, Lasoong,’ so I say, It is steak, Mrs. Mee gan, and she hugs me. It is most unusual.
On the weekend her husband is home. He is very nice to me, also. I think Mrs. Mee gan is a lucky woman with such a handsome husband with nice shaped teeth when he smiles. I like straight teeth.
*
Stephen spoke to Mr. Hwang and made the arrangement where Lasoong will live and work for us. I have given her the spare room. Stephen commented that the room from where he collected Lasoongs things at Mrs. Hwangs apartment was little more than a closet.
*
Mrs. Mee gan is my new mistress. I am to live here now Mrs. Hwang has another girl. I like to have someone to talk with, but Mrs. Hwang does not like us to talk. I sleep in a big room with a window looking out to the world. I like it at night because the lights are so beautiful to look at and the stars are bright in the sky, like exploded fireworks that dont fade.
Not like the room the new maid is sleeping in at Mrs. Hwangs apartment, the one I slept in next to the pantry with a small window so high up even when standing on a chair, I could not see out. The new maid looks my age and she is shy, but we have managed to smile at each other. Everyday I notice she gets thinner as I did when I came to work for Mrs. Hwang.
Everyday I get fatter and I have worked here six months. Mrs. Mee gan takes me to the shopping centre to get the groceries. When she stops for coffee she buys me the food she eats, decorations and sweet fillings and it is very expensive. The cakes with are very delicious. She has wanted me to try every type in the show case. The proprietor and the waitresses look at Mrs. Mee gan as if she is crazy and often bang the plate on the table, but Mrs. Mee gan watches me, and smiles. I do not like her to waste this money on me when I could send it to my family. I eat it, because she puts it in front of me. When I tell my family about this in a letter my father writes to ask for more money or he will beat me when I return. He has spoken to Mrs. Hwang and she has spoken to Mrs. Mee gan or Mr. Stee phen.
Mrs. Mee gan is teaching me English and soon I will be worth the same as a maid from the English speaking countries. Or I could go home to teach English in my village.
*
Will you be okay without me for a whole month, honey? I ask Stephen.
Of course, I have Lasoong to look after me and now that she costs more than double an agency maid he doesnt finish the sentence. I am uncomfortable with how much more we pay Lasoong and that she seems to do much less than before. I had to stop buying her coffee and cake when we went to the market because it meant my husband had too much money and she was worth more to me. The mould is growing in the bathroom and I must bleach it all the time. I think I would rather have machines to do the housework than people. Save for when they break down, machines do the job they are designed to do. They dont make sad faces or ask for more money because you’re generous to them.
It will be good to spend time at home, but Ill miss Stephen. *
Do you like me? my master, Mr. Stee phen asked one evening when I sat on my chair in the kitchen with him. The whiskey was on the table and the bottle was half empty. He looked drunk although I had given him three bowls of his favourite laska.
I like Mr. Stee phen very much. I wish he was my husband even though he is not of my culture. I think about her staying in her country and I becoming his wife. I imagine his arms around me and him touching me like I saw him touch her one Saturday afternoon. The door was open a crack and I learnt much about the bodys secrets when shared between husband and wife. Since then I have wanted to be his wife wanted him to touch me.
When he asked me to sit on his lap I blushed, but the sad look on his face made me go to him. He snuggled his head into my bosom and I could smell his hair guava and pineapple. And he pulled my skirt up and stroked my thighs and I wanted him to. I let him look at me, my heart pounded and my desire for him was strong. I will be your wife tonight I thought, and I was for a long time that night. I slipped from his bed, her bed, from under the sheet after he was finished with me. Twice I thought he was finished when he slept, making noises through his nose. But he grabbed me and required of me to do things to make him happy and I was glad to. I did not feel shame for I told myself, he was my husband. I have seen how she enjoys her body and I want to be like her, to please him.
I want to be his wife every night, but it is not as enjoyable three weeks later as he is always in a hurry, but I like him. I think Mrs. Mee gan is coming home Sunday and I dont know if this man needs two wives. My English is good now and I could tell her. I dont know if Mr. Stee phen would like this.
Mrs. Meagan mustnt know about this, Lasoong,’ he says to me when he caresses my body more kind than on some nights. ‘You like, he says and I kiss him and go where he wants me to go even though I do not think this is proper.
We can go on if she doesnt know, he is saying to me while I am pleasing him, so I do not have to answer. He pulls me up and lies me on the couch and says again about not telling Mrs. Mee gan, so I say I understand because he is touching me, and I am enjoying.
In my village if my father knew a man had spoiled me, he would arrange my marriage. If the man was already married, he could have another wife even though the government doesnt like this, and the second wife is not official.
I told the other maid I am his other wife and she said she did not want to be Mr. Hwangs wife and I said she was not lucky like me. Mr. Hwang has crooked teeth with gaps. When he smiles, spit gathers at the corners of his lips and his teeth are yellow.
*
Did you miss me, Stephen? Its a natural question for a wife after a month away at home in the cold. I missed him and was eager and loving, but he seemed distant. Lasoong is getting fat. I suspect she is eating the croissants Stephen brings for his breakfast. I think it is good he has changed his attitude towards her and treats her better. She had scrubbed the bathroom of mould and I asked Stephen how he got her to do this? He was noncommittal, but I noticed she has, well, settled in and is quite possessive about certain things.
Strangely, Mrs. Hwang laughs at me when I pass her in the foyer and some Chinese hilarity is exchanged between some of the other woman. I am sure it is at my expense. They can be so rude and just because I treat a maid like a human being.
Stephen has grown accustomed to life without me. He spends a lot of time at the office in the day and sometimes he comes home on Thursday afternoons when I am playing tennis.
I wish you would tell me if youre taking the day off and I could cancel my game, I complain.
Megs, I dont know until the last minute and I am happy for you to play sport. I changed my day to Tuesday and he came home that afternoon, saying hed got mixed up. I noticed Lasoong smirking. Her English is good now, but she doesnt say much to me.
*
My belly is swelling. I am having his child. I will surely be number one wife as she is not having a baby and they have been married five years. Something must be wrong with her because I have seen them though the door crack and he spends a lot of time with her, unlike the way he is with me, when they make together as husband and wife. She makes a lot of noise so I did too when I was with Mr. Stee phan, but he put his hand over my mouth and said shh.
I do not think it will be long now. I will ask Mr. Stee phan if I be number one wife now I give him a son. I will ask this afternoon when she plays her tennis on a Monday this week and she thinks he will be home Wednesday afternoon, but I have told him it is Monday for the tennis game and he is pleased.
*
Doubled over on the floor in a pool of water is how I found Lasoong after my tennis game on Monday and Stephen kneeling next to her, cursing. I had to call the doctor and Stephen summoned the building oracle Mrs. Hwang.
Shes having a baby? I am screeching.
Mrs Hwang, scoffed saying, Stupid woman, its his! pointing to Stephen.
When I found out Lasoong was having Stephens baby I was crushed. Quite undignified in front of the bloody Hwang woman. I ranted, and I swore. I was louder than Lasoongs labour cries and brought other neighbours to the door.
Stephen left the flat with Mr. Hwang and Mrs. Hwang took charge of Lasoong and her baby. I threw my clothes into a bag and left for a hotel. In the taxi, seeing the old white building as we came around the corner, I decided on impulse to check into the Islands top spot. Why not, I thought, Stephen pays the credit card bill.
My plane home is delayed an hour. I cant get out of this airport soon enough. Sitting here on a plastic seat, flicking through some magazines to pass the time, I am not the least bit sorry for what my husband did to Lasoong. I hate her. I suppose she will have other babies. And to think Stephen said I had to wait until his career was in a better place.
Well I am going home to my dishwasher, washing machine, ducted vacuum and my cleaned once a week parents home. I cant wait. Stephen has changed. I dont know him anymore. Hes staying on the island, but he moved out of the flat. I had to move back to pack. For a week I had to put up with Mrs. Hwangs gloating expression.
There are so many advertisements in magazines today. Like this whole page an abstract picture of a man and a woman intertwined in blue. To remind me of course, that instead of cake I should have been buying Lasoong condoms.
*
I dont know where my baby is. Mrs. Hwang arranged for her to be adopted before she sent me home. I think the baby went to New Zealand. Mr. Stee phen didnt want the baby, didnt want Mrs. Mee gan and didnt want me. Mrs. Mee gan cried and cried, the other maid told me after we swapped homes on Mrs. Hwangs say so. I miss my Mr. Stee phen. My baby looked like him. He will have nice teeth.
I teach English in my village to the children. My father does not know about my baby, but he beat me anyway when I came home. My sister is married. I told her of my Western husband and she said I should not tell anyone, or the village boys will not want to marry me. The children make me think of my baby in New Zealand and guavas and pineapple make me think of my Western husband.
_____________________________________________________
E l i z a b e t h R o b y n S t a n t o n
(Writer / Australian Psychologist)
_________ _ THE MAID__ __________ _
Crouching in a corner on the fire escape landing, I am hiding. Away from my Mistress' eye, I hear my belly growling, roused by the delicious aromas ginger, cumin - Garam Marsala. I have just prepared a curry for the family in a goat stock with yoghurt. In this secret space, next to the vent, my face squashed against the grill, I can open the window to the world. I see the buildings and green gardens speckled in the distance. If I raise my arms, the breeze dances over my moist body. I catch a small, delightful shriek in my throat before it has time to be heard. I am very naughty.
“Toni! Toni, for goodness sake where the hell is that girl.
I hear her. She wants to hire me out to other neighbours to clean, but I am tired. I do not like this work, all the time cleaning. My knees are red and my hands rough.
I will go to her when I am ready. I will say I was cleaning the landing because Mrs Ts dog soiled. The western woman who has moved into number six brought her little dog from her own home. I have never seen the little dog soil in the building. Mrs T looks nice, she smiles and says hello and I know I am real; my life is real not a bad dream. I will work for her and tell her I am not fed enough so she takes me on as her own maid. I heard Mrs. P. saying she would loan me to her tomorrow. I eat well but I do not get fat. I am always hungry.
I should be back in my village with my sister. My father said two girls are not needed at home only boys and one girl. A boy to work the field but a girl like me is too skinny, not strong enough. My mother cried and ran after the bus, but my father beat her with a stick. I sat curled in a corner and let the stones bump me against the sides. My sister waved from inside the doorway.
Toni, Toni!
I am here Mrs. In this bucket is dog poop.
Oh, that woman and her dirty, dirty dog.
Such a gossipy, mean woman, Mrs P. is. I wonder how she has a man to boss about. But when I think of Mr. Ps face, I wonder what kind of woman could wake up to it every morning.
*
She is half starved, look how thin she is, such a pretty little thing. I know shes hungry and she eats everything I offer her.
You cant get involved. You must accept the cultural difference, Meagan. Stephen is staring at me making sure he has my undivided attention. He has.
‘This is a first world country they have laws that govern exploitation.
‘And they have their ways of doing things. Im telling you Meagan, leave well enough alone. If you dont want Mrs Hwangs help, then dont have her maid here. We can get one from a service.
A fair days work for a fair days pay is civilised, Stephen, dont smirk.
Grow up, Meagan, youre not at uni now ‘up the workers’ and all that.’
Stephens laughing but I can see he intends another dig and Im right.
Youd still visit a dog track rather than enjoy a box at the races, wouldnt you Meagan?’
Stephen has buried his face in the newspaper again. The way he does when he considers the conversation is at its end. If rage had heat, my eyes would be scorching two holes in the newsprint. He’s a lawyer for goodness sake and this is a clear case of exploitation right under his nose, but it doesnt interest him. A young woman is brought to this island to work like a slave. It is preposterous, and I am going to do something about it. As usual, hes ignoring me as I make my move to the front door, so Ill have to bang it on the way out. I am taking the stairs two at a time down to the Hwang apartment. Mrs Hwang is supervising the sweeping of her landing. Ill get straight to the point.
I would like this maid fulltime. Will you give her to me, Mrs Hwang?
Certainly not. You are one of my customers. I have done you a favour giving you this girl so cheap and now you think you will make a bit on the side. Fooie,’ shes turned to pick browned leaves from her plant.
No, you misunderstand I need her just for me, not to lend out, no, no.
You treat them too well they will not work, you are so naive,’ she spits her words at me. Im standing at her front door shaking my head. Her eyebrows are raised, and her nose slightly elevated as if Ive passed wind. I must think fast but I am mute. Too late, the door is shutting in my face. Now I dont know whether the girl will be allowed to work for me at all. My heart is pounding at the injustice. I can feel my face burning hot like a poker, so I know I am beetroot red now as Mrs Fong appears to nod a good morning greeting. With each step I am having trouble holding back my tears and rage.
*
I like the Western woman. She gives me so much food. We eat together at her table. I am shocked to sit at the mistresss table. I saw her pull the chair and point that I should sit, but I crept to the corner and sat on the floor. This upset her, and she pulled a kitchen chair to the corner and put her hand out for me to hold so I could stand. Then she pushed on my shoulders, so I would sit on the chair. It was very uncomfortable. She started to thump her chest saying Meagan, Mee gan, Mee gan. I had no idea what she wanted from me. Then she said, ‘your name, and I understood, so I told her I was Lasoong and she said it right and smiled. Then I realised she was Mee gan so I called her Mrs. Mee gan and she rolled her eyes and smiled. We ate our food. She ate the same food as me.
Everyday it is like this, eating together on the chairs in her kitchen.
I am scrubbing the tiles in her bathroom with a brush, my skirt tucked up into my underwear, so my knees do not dirty my clothes. She comes to me with a mop that looks like a sponge. She pulls me up, takes the brush from me and demonstrates how I should push the long-handled sponge across the floor. I wish I could tell her she will be sorry to do this when the mould grows. The Chinese and the Westerners do not like mould in their bathrooms.
*
I want you to speak to the husband, Mr. Hwang, From the bathroom, I can see Stephen is taking off his tie and shirt, making for the bed to untie his shoes laces before he answers me. I am ready for dinner in a lovely red silk dress that fits like a glove and have bought new red shoes. Walking into the bedroom I touch my hair that I have wound into a French role. I feel very alluring.
My God, Meagan, you look gorgeous.’ Stephens mind is racing. Part of him would be thinking how impressive hell be with a wife dressed to kill and the other is Oh I so know this man, he comes towards me like he thinks I might rip my clothes off, and start to get ready all over again as if. I give him that ‘later’ look and push him away. Careful honey, youll smudge my makeup and Mr. Ng mightnt flirt with me all night and favour you in the office tomorrow. I spray Channel No. 5 down my cleavage and wink.
So, youll have a word to Mr. Hwang then? I ask again when he pinches my bum as we get into the taxi and he says he will have a word, man to man. I ask him to promise when we get home as he almost tears my dress from me and we make love. So now he .is obligated.
*
I am to go to the Western womans house everyday for three quarters of the day. This is very good as I only clean two houses. Mrs. Hwang is sending for another girl to do the other homes. I rise at five and clean Mrs Hwangs apartment, prepare the breakfast and their dinner then I go up to Mrs. Mee gan. I clean her house with the long-handled sponge and make the dinner. She is showing me how to prepare the meat. She says to me, It is steak, Lasoong,’ so I say, It is steak, Mrs. Mee gan, and she hugs me. It is most unusual.
On the weekend her husband is home. He is very nice to me, also. I think Mrs. Mee gan is a lucky woman with such a handsome husband with nice shaped teeth when he smiles. I like straight teeth.
*
Stephen spoke to Mr. Hwang and made the arrangement where Lasoong will live and work for us. I have given her the spare room. Stephen commented that the room from where he collected Lasoongs things at Mrs. Hwangs apartment was little more than a closet.
*
Mrs. Mee gan is my new mistress. I am to live here now Mrs. Hwang has another girl. I like to have someone to talk with, but Mrs. Hwang does not like us to talk. I sleep in a big room with a window looking out to the world. I like it at night because the lights are so beautiful to look at and the stars are bright in the sky, like exploded fireworks that dont fade.
Not like the room the new maid is sleeping in at Mrs. Hwangs apartment, the one I slept in next to the pantry with a small window so high up even when standing on a chair, I could not see out. The new maid looks my age and she is shy, but we have managed to smile at each other. Everyday I notice she gets thinner as I did when I came to work for Mrs. Hwang.
Everyday I get fatter and I have worked here six months. Mrs. Mee gan takes me to the shopping centre to get the groceries. When she stops for coffee she buys me the food she eats, decorations and sweet fillings and it is very expensive. The cakes with are very delicious. She has wanted me to try every type in the show case. The proprietor and the waitresses look at Mrs. Mee gan as if she is crazy and often bang the plate on the table, but Mrs. Mee gan watches me, and smiles. I do not like her to waste this money on me when I could send it to my family. I eat it, because she puts it in front of me. When I tell my family about this in a letter my father writes to ask for more money or he will beat me when I return. He has spoken to Mrs. Hwang and she has spoken to Mrs. Mee gan or Mr. Stee phen.
Mrs. Mee gan is teaching me English and soon I will be worth the same as a maid from the English speaking countries. Or I could go home to teach English in my village.
*
Will you be okay without me for a whole month, honey? I ask Stephen.
Of course, I have Lasoong to look after me and now that she costs more than double an agency maid he doesnt finish the sentence. I am uncomfortable with how much more we pay Lasoong and that she seems to do much less than before. I had to stop buying her coffee and cake when we went to the market because it meant my husband had too much money and she was worth more to me. The mould is growing in the bathroom and I must bleach it all the time. I think I would rather have machines to do the housework than people. Save for when they break down, machines do the job they are designed to do. They dont make sad faces or ask for more money because you’re generous to them.
It will be good to spend time at home, but Ill miss Stephen. *
Do you like me? my master, Mr. Stee phen asked one evening when I sat on my chair in the kitchen with him. The whiskey was on the table and the bottle was half empty. He looked drunk although I had given him three bowls of his favourite laska.
I like Mr. Stee phen very much. I wish he was my husband even though he is not of my culture. I think about her staying in her country and I becoming his wife. I imagine his arms around me and him touching me like I saw him touch her one Saturday afternoon. The door was open a crack and I learnt much about the bodys secrets when shared between husband and wife. Since then I have wanted to be his wife wanted him to touch me.
When he asked me to sit on his lap I blushed, but the sad look on his face made me go to him. He snuggled his head into my bosom and I could smell his hair guava and pineapple. And he pulled my skirt up and stroked my thighs and I wanted him to. I let him look at me, my heart pounded and my desire for him was strong. I will be your wife tonight I thought, and I was for a long time that night. I slipped from his bed, her bed, from under the sheet after he was finished with me. Twice I thought he was finished when he slept, making noises through his nose. But he grabbed me and required of me to do things to make him happy and I was glad to. I did not feel shame for I told myself, he was my husband. I have seen how she enjoys her body and I want to be like her, to please him.
I want to be his wife every night, but it is not as enjoyable three weeks later as he is always in a hurry, but I like him. I think Mrs. Mee gan is coming home Sunday and I dont know if this man needs two wives. My English is good now and I could tell her. I dont know if Mr. Stee phen would like this.
Mrs. Meagan mustnt know about this, Lasoong,’ he says to me when he caresses my body more kind than on some nights. ‘You like, he says and I kiss him and go where he wants me to go even though I do not think this is proper.
We can go on if she doesnt know, he is saying to me while I am pleasing him, so I do not have to answer. He pulls me up and lies me on the couch and says again about not telling Mrs. Mee gan, so I say I understand because he is touching me, and I am enjoying.
In my village if my father knew a man had spoiled me, he would arrange my marriage. If the man was already married, he could have another wife even though the government doesnt like this, and the second wife is not official.
I told the other maid I am his other wife and she said she did not want to be Mr. Hwangs wife and I said she was not lucky like me. Mr. Hwang has crooked teeth with gaps. When he smiles, spit gathers at the corners of his lips and his teeth are yellow.
*
Did you miss me, Stephen? Its a natural question for a wife after a month away at home in the cold. I missed him and was eager and loving, but he seemed distant. Lasoong is getting fat. I suspect she is eating the croissants Stephen brings for his breakfast. I think it is good he has changed his attitude towards her and treats her better. She had scrubbed the bathroom of mould and I asked Stephen how he got her to do this? He was noncommittal, but I noticed she has, well, settled in and is quite possessive about certain things.
Strangely, Mrs. Hwang laughs at me when I pass her in the foyer and some Chinese hilarity is exchanged between some of the other woman. I am sure it is at my expense. They can be so rude and just because I treat a maid like a human being.
Stephen has grown accustomed to life without me. He spends a lot of time at the office in the day and sometimes he comes home on Thursday afternoons when I am playing tennis.
I wish you would tell me if youre taking the day off and I could cancel my game, I complain.
Megs, I dont know until the last minute and I am happy for you to play sport. I changed my day to Tuesday and he came home that afternoon, saying hed got mixed up. I noticed Lasoong smirking. Her English is good now, but she doesnt say much to me.
*
My belly is swelling. I am having his child. I will surely be number one wife as she is not having a baby and they have been married five years. Something must be wrong with her because I have seen them though the door crack and he spends a lot of time with her, unlike the way he is with me, when they make together as husband and wife. She makes a lot of noise so I did too when I was with Mr. Stee phan, but he put his hand over my mouth and said shh.
I do not think it will be long now. I will ask Mr. Stee phan if I be number one wife now I give him a son. I will ask this afternoon when she plays her tennis on a Monday this week and she thinks he will be home Wednesday afternoon, but I have told him it is Monday for the tennis game and he is pleased.
*
Doubled over on the floor in a pool of water is how I found Lasoong after my tennis game on Monday and Stephen kneeling next to her, cursing. I had to call the doctor and Stephen summoned the building oracle Mrs. Hwang.
Shes having a baby? I am screeching.
Mrs Hwang, scoffed saying, Stupid woman, its his! pointing to Stephen.
When I found out Lasoong was having Stephens baby I was crushed. Quite undignified in front of the bloody Hwang woman. I ranted, and I swore. I was louder than Lasoongs labour cries and brought other neighbours to the door.
Stephen left the flat with Mr. Hwang and Mrs. Hwang took charge of Lasoong and her baby. I threw my clothes into a bag and left for a hotel. In the taxi, seeing the old white building as we came around the corner, I decided on impulse to check into the Islands top spot. Why not, I thought, Stephen pays the credit card bill.
My plane home is delayed an hour. I cant get out of this airport soon enough. Sitting here on a plastic seat, flicking through some magazines to pass the time, I am not the least bit sorry for what my husband did to Lasoong. I hate her. I suppose she will have other babies. And to think Stephen said I had to wait until his career was in a better place.
Well I am going home to my dishwasher, washing machine, ducted vacuum and my cleaned once a week parents home. I cant wait. Stephen has changed. I dont know him anymore. Hes staying on the island, but he moved out of the flat. I had to move back to pack. For a week I had to put up with Mrs. Hwangs gloating expression.
There are so many advertisements in magazines today. Like this whole page an abstract picture of a man and a woman intertwined in blue. To remind me of course, that instead of cake I should have been buying Lasoong condoms.
*
I dont know where my baby is. Mrs. Hwang arranged for her to be adopted before she sent me home. I think the baby went to New Zealand. Mr. Stee phen didnt want the baby, didnt want Mrs. Mee gan and didnt want me. Mrs. Mee gan cried and cried, the other maid told me after we swapped homes on Mrs. Hwangs say so. I miss my Mr. Stee phen. My baby looked like him. He will have nice teeth.
I teach English in my village to the children. My father does not know about my baby, but he beat me anyway when I came home. My sister is married. I told her of my Western husband and she said I should not tell anyone, or the village boys will not want to marry me. The children make me think of my baby in New Zealand and guavas and pineapple make me think of my Western husband.
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